Dear Friends of the Pub Quiz,
My wife Kate wrote an essay last night that is resonating with friends on Facebook, so, with her permission, I’m sharing her writing as the shank of our Pub Quiz newsletter for today, even though posting her reflections might seem self-congratulatory. Her creativity and emotional poignance will free up time for me to focus on grading long features for my journalism class. Thanks, Kate, for your sweet words about our boy Jukie!
Pure Presence
Andy and Jukie have the most purely present relationship I have ever witnessed.
Anyone who has seen these two together has noticed their special connection. Early on, Andy earned the title of Jukie Whisperer, for he can intuit Jukie’s needs and manage his sometimes challenging behavior with gentle, firm direction and greater ease than anyone else. Jukie listens to his daddy. And Jukie adores his daddy. They communicate differently than most fathers and sons as Jukie uses a combination of sign language, PECS, and his iPad to speak for him. But mostly, they communicate through love, laughter, and play. There is a delightful surplus of spontaneous affection in our home.
I often hear reports from friends and acquaintances of Jukie/Andy sightings around town. “I saw them riding down third street on their cargo bike,” they’ll say. “I saw them sharing kettle corn at the Farmers’ Market last Saturday.” “They were at an art gallery for a poetry reading, and Jukie was so well behaved.” People often compliment Andy’s parenting. He’s patient and sweet with our boy. He takes Jukie on adventures all over Northern California, and they are seen in museums, performance venues, and college lecture halls: places one might not think to take a kid with Jukie’s particular differences. What people don’t see is that Jukie is also teaching Daddy. Yes, Daddy works his parenting magic, but Jukie is the master teacher.
While Andy regularly practices Zen meditation, Jukie seems to live with Zen in his heart. Quietly attentive, Jukie’s natural state is peaceful and relaxed. He lives in the present with his attention sometimes focused on the beauty of nature: the wind in the trees, the clouds in the sky, and the French bulldog puppy in his lap. He studies pictures that he loves, pointing to show us what he notices. Sometimes out of context, loudly, and often, Jukie laughs, reminding us not to take life so seriously. He touches our faces when he wonders what we’re thinking. And he climbs in bed at the end of the day, and sometimes before the day has ended; Jukie always knows when he’s had enough.
If I’m being real, I need to add that it’s not always easy being Jukie’s mama. I worry all the time about issues that parents of typical kids don’t imagine. Sometimes his frustration overwhelms him, and he erupts. I fear that he could have an illness we will miss because he cannot tell us he’s in pain. I wonder if he yearns to communicate something more complex than what we understand. And I worry about his future life without the Jukie Whisperer and me.
When these thoughts threaten to overtake me, I think of Jukie’s teaching, and see the boy before me. I laugh with him. As we spin with our eyes closed, walk the greenbelts of Davis, take in the patterns of clouds after a storm, or taste each section of an orange as if it were our first, we are reminded of Jukie’s foremost lesson: We have today – be present.
http://kateduren.blogspot.com/2019/12/pure-presence.html?m=1
Tonight’s Pub Quiz will feature questions on the following topics, loosely interpreted: ornithology, that which is lost when money is saved, retirements, CNBC, wet bears, Davis boulevards, California cities, famous siblings, accomplished youngsters, gladiators, people who wear ascots, commonalities among colonial cities, Biblical chronologies, interpretations of 50, lifelong smokers who die early, cello music, the science of sound, alphabetical importers, popular religions, unexpected hits, voices in space, lake effects, swamp singing, short lives, GQ health committees, again with the prime numbers, tiny syllables, uneasy verbs, warping and folding, wealthy athletic counselors, and Shakespeare.
One of tonight’s questions is so tricky that I will allow you to ask another team about their impressions. Dress accordingly.
Our next Poetry Night features a holiday show with Davis teacher, author, and performance artist Chris Erickson. Join us on December 19th at the John Natsoulas Gallery!
Best,
Your Quizmaster
https://www.yourquizmaster.com
yourquizmaster@gmail.com
P.S. Here are three questions from last week’s quiz:
- Books and Authors. The novella A Christmas Carol was first published by Charles Dickens closest to which of the following years? 1800, 1825, 1850, 1875.
- Sports. Joe Burrow and the Tigers are at the top of the AP Top Rankings updated for this week in college football. Name the public research university’s football team that is so well this year.
- Tie-breaker. How many minority-owned firms were there in Montana in 2012?
P.S. May you be happy. May you be well. May you be peaceful. May you be free.